Gilmore Girls.

NO.

OK so chalk this up with the same topicality reading as the Kernot/Evans affair of 1903, but I just want to share with you guys that I hate the early naughties TV show, The Gilmore Girls.

GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH GNASH

I hate how the writers of this show are not okay with the idea of a teenybopper show being accessible and a bit sassy SOMETIMES, but overall something nice and light with a positive message for young ladies to have drilled into their ears. INSTEAD they’re all about the ironic self-referential characters who speak REALLY fast and haveĀ way too pithy things to say that don’t correlate with the emotional lives of their characters and it just makes me think: CHOOSE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE, GILMORE GIRLS.

If you WANT to be inventive in dialogue, you kinda need to be formally inventive in other facets as well, or your show just looks awkward and shit, like a falling down house with a really space-age Japanese bidet.

It’s like you’ve got a screenwriter who wants to prove s/he is “better than this” and should be writing Important TV Dramas Like The West Wing, to which I would like to say, “well you’re not, MATE, you’re writing The Gilmore Girls, and your viewers don’t want to hear what Rory thinks of the Bell Jar – they want to see her snog a hottie – so either embrace the fact that TRASH ALWAYS SELLS, and do something fucking crazy like this, or get out of my face and out of my life.”

And here ends: Jess’s Whinges of Late High School.

Dry July

YEAH.

I just wanted you guys to know that I am taking part in Dry July this year, to raise money for the NSW Cancer Survivors Centre. This is a great charity that looks at the physical, emotional and logistical needs of people who have faced cancer and are now trying to get back home and continue their recovery.

My Dry July team-mate (and housemate) Edmund Iffland has started offering art-based incentives to donate to cancer treatment at Wollongong Hospital.

I guess I need to trump his offerings with something you want just as much or more than his stupid caricatures. (But jokes aside you should still pledge to Edmund because it’s for charity, dude).

HERE IS WHAT I PLEDGE.

A personalised celebrity fan fiction of your choice FOR ANY DONATION.

Just tell me which celebrity, the setting you desire, and any interesting object/prop/detailand I will write you a story to put on your Inspiration Pin-Board.

I’ll do this for any donation, but the bigger the donation, the better (and longer) the story.

Here’s some ideas to get you started:

Lindsay Lohan WITH a dog. In a car.

OR

Image

Lindsay Lohan AS a dog. With a headband.

YAY CREATIVITY! Donate here.